Monday, 3 November 2014

Mummy Monday: Feeling Guilty?

Do you ever get the feeling you are expected to juggle 100 things at once and still come out smiling at the end of every day?

Before I had Isla, I was bad enough at putting pressure on myself to get a ridiculous amount done each day. I'd want to tick off as many things as humanely possible on my to do list at work. I'd stay up late to keep the house really OCD clean and tidy. I'd fill up my diary on evenings to see as many friends as possible. I'd go to the gym. And on top of this I'd try to keep the husband as happy as possible - they require a lot of attention these husbands!

Now that Isla has come along things have shifted a little but I still feel the pressure to cram a lot of things into one day. I'm not one of these people who can sit down and relish in the cuddles of a new baby for hours on end. Don't get me wrong I LOVE BABY CUDDLES and often sit with Isla for a while when she falls asleep on me, but I do get restless and agitated about all the thing I still need to do for the day.

I go to about 6 things a week for Isla which takes up quite a bit of time but, as bad as this sounds, I find it much easier to switch off and focus on her when we're out and about at groups. It means I can't be on my phone/laptop which is my main distraction when I'm at home.

I can imagine that many new mums, especially us bloggers, use technology to escape and reconnect with our lives pre-baby. It's also very hard to keep up with everything in the blogging world without being on Twitter/Instagram/Facebook for at least half the day!!

I try so hard to balance motherhood and other things I enjoy, such as blogging and going to the gym, but I often find myself feeling really guilty as I wish her to sleep just so I can get some blogging/housework/washing etc done.

It's hard when partners come home at night and make comments about 'your blogging'. You just want to say 'I've been with my beautiful baby all day, you haven't. Just let me have this hour or so to catch up on what I need to. I'm not pissing about on my laptop, I'm blogging, which is practically my job at the moment!!'.

I have to say my husband is so so good and rarely ever makes comments like the above but I always get scared it's what he's thinking in his head - that I'm sacking off family time to focus on my blog.

We can't get this time back and we should savour every tiny moment with our little people before they grow up and don't need us anymore but at the same time, it's very hard to put life on hold.

It is widely known that women are better than (most) men at multi-tasking, do you think we take this too far and try to do too much? Do you feel guilty about not doing things you feel you should be or not spending as much time with your baby as you think you should?

I really don't know where I stand on it. Some days I feel more guilty than others. It'll be even more difficult once I get a new job and that gets thrown into the mix too.

6 comments :

  1. Oh how true this is! To top it off I've been ill all week and am feeling truly guilty as I lay there practically immobile on the couch while my toddler watches yet another DVD to keep her entertained :(

    http://lovesandloathes.wordpress.com

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  2. Could have written this myself my love! Life is hard! Your doing awesome

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  3. So true! I feel the same even more so that I have two children.
    I think it's important to have a bit of 'me time' as well, that's what keeps us sane, isn't it? We're not super-women and we can't look after everybody else all the time.
    I don't do a lot for myself, I just go to the hair dresser once every 4/6 weeks but it feels good!

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  4. I think we can all totally relate to this! You're certainly not alone, so take comfort in the fact we are all feeling exactly the same! You're doing fab though, Isla seems like such a happy little lady, she will be loving being such a sociable little butterfly :) xx

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  5. So, so true! Toby is such a bad sleeper and I feel guilty for wishing he'd sleep. Then when he finally does, I feel guilty for doing blog stuff instead of housework. Then when I do housework I feel guilty for not cooking meals from scratch from my husband. Then when I cook I feel guilty for not spending time with my husband. It's quite a cycle!!xx

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  6. I often feel like im sinking with all the things you need to keep on top of as a parent and I always feel guilty when I let anything slide

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