Monday, 9 March 2015

Why I Couldn’t Be A SAHM

When I was pregnant with Isla, long before I even went on maternity leave, I always knew I would be going back to work. Whether it would be part time or full time, I was determined to carry on with my career.
There are a few reasons why I felt like this.
I’ve always enjoyed workingI got my first job at 14, even though I got more than adequate pocket money from my parents, and have worked ever since. I’ve been a chambermaid, a waitress, a babysitter, a bar supervisor, a shop assistant and all that that was before I started my chosen career after university!  I have made some of my best friends in life through places I’ve worked and love the atmosphere of working as a team.

I like my independence - My parents taught us the value of money and how important it was to work hard to get the nice things you want in life. There’s such a sense of achievement when you manage to save up for something you’ve been working towards for ages. I know that Rob’s and my money combined is ‘our’ money, as we are a family, but it’s nice to be able to contribute and to have a little stash of my own money to do as I please with, with no raised eyebrows from the husband (ahem designer bag collection).
I worked hard to get where I am – I have always given 100% at whatever I do. Whether it’s been at school, during my 4 year university degree (OK, I could have worked harder and drank less there!) or in the jobs I’ve had since graduating, I give my all to what I’m doing and like to do a good job. I get a kick out of being successful in what I choose to do and I like a challenge so strive to work as hard as I can, wherever I am.
I want to be able to provide the best I can for my children – I don’t want my children to be remotely spoilt by any stretch of the imagination but I do want to be able to treat them when I want. I would like to get to a stage where, although you are always conscious of money and being careful with it, it isn’t a worry and you’re not constantly watching the pennies. I’d like to send my children to private school so they can have the same upbringing as me. And I would like them to be able to see the world, with lots of family holidays, like I was lucky enough have growing up. There’s also the small case of being able to afford a dream house as well. Aim high and all that jazz!
I want to be a role model for my daughter – Before anyone gets defensive and says ‘staying at home to be a good mother is a good enough role model’, I’m not saying that it's not. I just want to show her that she can do whatever she wants as long as she sets her mind to it and works hard for it, whether that be an amazing SAHM or a career woman or both, it's up to her.
I have the utmost respect for all the mummies out there that are stay at home mums. It is hands down the hardest job out there that I know of!! I loved every minute of my maternity leave but my goodness some days were incredibly tough and relentless. It’s a 24/7 job with no holidays, no overtime, technically no ‘progression’ and all sorts of health and safety hazards (hello poo explosions and balancing a child whilst trying to do 100 jobs one handed). But the rewards are priceless. To be there for every ‘first’ and to see your child grow day in and day out is worth its weight in gold. I am genuinely gutted that I may not be there for Isla’s real first steps and first word, but hey, all nursery kids do their firsts in the evening or at the weekend huh?!
What are your experiences with going back to work or staying at home?

16 comments :

  1. Well done, you knew what you wanted to do and you went for it. I am a stay at home mum but now that both my girls are in school I would like to go back to work and do something for myself xx

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  2. Definitely great values to instill in Isla :)

    I became a Work at home Mum after I had Tyne, which is an experience in itself lol - its definitely challenging combining both but it works for me at the moment! Just about...though there are somedays I sob into tubs of Ben & Jerrys at the stress of it all, but thats normal right?! ;)

    xx

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  3. I've just recently decided not to return to work. I don't have a particularly well paid job, and it is something that I can always go back into once Clementine is older. I'm hoping to use the time to do a few online courses and learn some new skills. If I had a different career then I probably would have returned to work.

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  4. I agree with all of your points. I respect everyone for their own decisions but for me and my family, working is the right decision. I get the best of both worlds, a job that I enjoy and a family who I can't wait to get home to.xx

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  5. Completely agree, I was at home with Amelia for 18 months, I work two 13 hour shifts a week and though they are hard at 7 months pregnant, I love getting out to work! I'll be off on mat leave again soon and will return to work when the baby is 6 months. X

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  6. I went back to work after maternity leave with my daughter ended. It was nice to be able to meet new people and go to the bathroom alone. I missed her crazy and the cost of childcare took almost all my pay. After redundancy and brief working a temporary contract with another company, we made the decision to be a stay-at-home mom. I am currently on maternity leave from my small business. I do have moments when I wish for adult conversations and hot cups of tea but I cherish these times with my children. When they are school age, I hope to figure out a more profitable home-business. I did not have career progression to work towards and rather work for myself. Best wishes!

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  7. This is such an honest and lovely post, you are a brilliant role model for isla! I still have mixed feelings about working - I love having the me time and having my own money. But I think I know deep down Id rather be at home with her. Don't worry though indiana started nursery at 8 months and we didn't miss any firsts :) xx

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  8. Very honest and balanced post. I work part time and find that works great for us. I work 3 days a week and Sam is at home with me and the rest of the time he is in nursery. I didn't miss any firsts either so I'm sure you will see them all. xx Ps, I have just subscribed to your channel and loving your vlogs.

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  9. Completely agree with all of those point, I have moments when I wish I was a stay at home mum and envy those that do but my career is also important and my children aren't missing out by me working. My mum worked so it was always normal to me to work and I think working mums are a great role model to children - as are stay at home mums but it is about choice and individuals. I work 4 days which works well for us, I still get time with the kids and they get to socialise at nursery as well as on playdates on my day off. I read them a story ( a lot of stories) every night and they know they are loved I also feel like I miss them more. Thanks for a very balanced post x x

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  10. I am lucky enough to have a postion that is very part time at the moment (1-2) days a week. I love being home with my son but I definitely feel the pull of the working world. Some of my fondest memories of my mum were watching her get ready for work, shoulder pads and everything!

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  11. Very proud of you Sarah Knott. Love from Mummy Willox xxx

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  12. I really think this is a great post! I work 4 days and going back up to full time in September. Although I LOVE being at home and do sometimes wish I did stay at home, I do really get satisfaction out of my job and like that I'm 'me' and not 'Mummy'. Thanks for your honesty! Karen x

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  13. Its so lovely that you have your "me" time as well as mummy time, its the only thing I miss really, as a stay at home mum. I think if I had a career that I loved though before having M that I might have been a bit more determined to go back to work, it sounds like you have a great job and great morals and values too! x #mummymonday

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  15. Such a great post! :) So good of you to do what you want to do and just get on with it. Over the years with Corey, I have varied from working and being a stay at home. I have to admit I liked it when I worked part time as I got best of both. I did have a full time job which I enjoyed so much so it was okay because I was doing something I wanted too. Now Corey is in school I am working from home and there in the evenings with him where as if I worked i wouldn't be home until almost bedtime. Just depends what suits the family and what the mum wants, everyone is different. But I certainly always make sure I have some "me" time to keep sane haha :)

    thankyou for linking up to #mummymonday :) Love, Gemma - host xo
    www.sunshineonacloudyday.co.uk

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